Based in louisville, kentucky, "hi my name is amos", is a blog and youtube channel about mental health, body image, and managing life. 

Do I want to try and fail? Or do I want to succeed at something that doesn't matter?

The last two weeks have been filled with soaring highs and crushing lows. I lost my job. Unexpectedly, I don't want to talk about it. Things happen. This was supposed to happen. For the last almost 3 years, I have talked about a company called, Resc\You, that I started when I came back from India. Several things happened over the last 3 years that kept me from making it full time. Finishing grad school, my first job, lack of maturity, fear.

After brushing off the feeling of defeat, I decided that this event wasn't going to keep me down. So I started planning. If you know me, I am a dreamer. I have excellent ideas, but no idea how to follow through with them. It was amazing to see how clear things came to me, and how I was able to have steps to a goal. I had answers to questions. Maybe this was the time.

During a conversation with a friend, we talked about the quote from Francis Chan; "Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things that don't really matter." Hits like a brick, right? My jobs have been great, I know I made a difference in some places. My last job was good, it wasn't incredibly fulfilling and definitely not what I wanted to do forever. I was good at it. In hindsight, I was doing exactly what Francis was talking about. I was being great at something that wasn't for my life. It's a cruel realization, when you get it. It breaks my ego, which wasn't that large to begin with. However, I am thankful for the community I have, that have had my back and been so encouraging through this. They've let me laugh and cry.  They've encouraged and listened. It's been exactly what I needed.

I'm turning 30 in 29 days. This year has been incredibly turbulent. I look forward to the clean slate, the new adventure. Do work, son.

Mixtape #1

Rebuild The Boat