This blog has taken a few changes since it started a couple years ago. Now that I've figured out that I didn't need to write for the other blogs and just pour everything in this one. I feel also that it's important to document this journey that I'm on. All the music I listen to, movies I watch and books I read play into it anyway. Speaking of reading, the past week I've been down with the flu (which has been awesome on the scale for me). I haven't had the flu since I was a kid. I had symptoms for mono and walking pneumonia, so this time around was pretty serious. In between my frequent naps, and reruns of Criminal Minds (Shemar Moore is great medicine), I caught up on my reading list.
When I was in Louisville last, I did some damage at B&N. I needed a book for small group (since Terri took the copy I have) and my mentor recommended another. The other five just happened. I started "gods of war" the other week. Kyle Idleman is a favorite speaker of mine. I was a part of his "not a fan" book(s), both the first version and teen version. He has a way of being very honest about things, clever, and talks in a conversational way.
During one chapter, he asks a series of questions that really spoke to me. They were:
- What disappoints you?
- What do you complain about the most?
- Where do you make financial sacrifices?
- Where is your sanctuary?
- What infuriates you?
- What are your dreams?
Hits the gut right? I ran these questions thru every filter I have. But for the sake of this blog entry, we're not going to run through each and every filter. That's quite a long entry, and quite a lot of vulnerability that I'm not willing to broadcast on the internet.
My first gut reaction to these questions were in relation to me, my weight and self-image. What disappoints me/what do I complain about the most? Me. Where to I make financial sacrifices? I don't make a ton. A good chunk of my income goes to nutrition and working out. Where is my sanctuary? Honestly, the gym or my car. What infuriates me? The scale and it's sllllloooowww movement. That I've been heavy this long. What is my dream? I want to inspire other girls and women that it's never to late to try, you're enough, you're strong enough. You can do this, I did.
....I just haven't yet. But I'm trying. Emphasis on that last part.