i have had many blog entries written in my head. as you’ve noticed, they haven’t made it to the computer. call it laziness, call it whatever. i haven’t made this place a priority. mostly because i like to figure things out in my head before i invite everyone into it. you folks get the organized crazy, not the chaotic crazy.
there have been more changes since my last entry. i’m still at life fitness academy and i’m quite loving it. finding a new place to go to is rather difficult. i’m very picky. this place has been so very welcoming, and incredibly challenging. my groupon is inching towards it’s expiration, and my verdict is to join. the trainers i’ve gotten to work with have been amazing and fun. the people in the classes i’ve taken have been awesome. i don’t get looked at as the ‘fat kid’ in the gym, which i’ve gotten at other gyms i’ve tried (notice i said tried, not joined. i ain’t got time for that). i’m doing things i’ve never thought i’d do. i even took a seminar on calisthenics, which i tried hand stands and planches. yeah..you read that right. i really think this place came around right on time.
i’ve noticed a significant change in my body in the last month. i’ve gotten a chance to lift heavy. something i’ve wanted to get into for a while. i’m starting to tell a difference in my arms and legs. some friends have noticed a difference in my booty. i’ve also noticed a difference my energy and strength. maybe i’ve finally been pushed off this two year long plateau.
even though the scale really hasn’t moved...at all. time for a bit of honesty. i have been monitored by a doctor for the last 90 days, in prep for bariatric surgery. they have kept a close eye on my weight, diet and exercise. i’ve gained, in terms of weight on the scale. but my body fat percentage, fat mass, and muscle mass has all changed for the better. i’ve lost 15 pounds of fat in the last month alone. my body fat percentage has dropped 8% in the 90 days.
i never said anything about here. i hate to keep that a secret, but i wanted to make a decision before i said anything about it. after my last appointment (on friday) and talking with my best friend, i’ve decided to not go through with it. i had always been unsure, for many reasons. now, i know for sure that it’s not right for me. bariatric surgeries are great for some people, and it’s needed for some. i encourage, any of you who are reading this and thinking about it, if it’s good for you...do it.
here are my reasons:
1)I don’t want to change my body for the way it has been made. I don’t want to manipulate my body outside of the way that it was intended to be, because I decided not to take care of myself. I feel like it’s a disservice to my Creator. It’s hard for me to explain thoroughly why i feel that way, but i do. it would be changing my body forever. i’d never be the same again.
2)After many conversations i’ve had at lfa, i feel like that there might be a way that i can do this on my own, with their help. if i change the way i eat and work out and look at my life as a whole, this might work in my favor and i’ll lose the weight.
3)i’m a stubborn, hard headed, strong willed lady. and i hate the thought that i would have to have surgery to do this. i’m healthy, other than my weight. i don’t need assistance moving, i don’t have diabetes or anything like that. i can workout and i work hard. there has to be a way to do this holistically. i’m going to find it.
4)the people who read this. i get comments and such about my determination, dedication, etc...and i couldn’t think of a better way to encourage and inspire than by doing this the way i know how.
i have an incredible support system. if this journey takes another year to get to a healthy weight, then it takes another year. that’s okay. it’s going to be to a struggle, but i’ll be happy that my body has changed holistically. i’ve decided to create new goals. i need to concentrate less on what the scale says, because i don’t always like it. it goes up and down so much. i want to concentrate on muscle mass and body fat percentage. focus more on how i feel, in my clothes, in my workouts, in my skin.
thank you all for reading and being in this journey with me. it’s awesome to know you’re out there.